Thank you Ms. A for your very informative response and the added input towards my essay. Also, thank you for encouraging me with this class as well as giving me a better understanding of the course itself. I greatly appreciate your help and input. I will apply it in my future papers. I look forward to my next assignment. Thank you, again, K On Friday, December 6, 2013 9:03 AM, A <@selu.edu> wrote: K, Thank you for emailing me with concerns about my comments on the midterm. Here is the breakdown of point deductions for your paper: • -3 for minor punctuation issues • -10 for ending on quotes (-5 for each) • -7 for being off topic I am impressed by your email, so I decided to review your midterm again based on your points. First, I am sorry you had a problem when typing your paper on MyCompLab. I have encountered a few cases where I typed my comments, and then a glitch erased them, causing me to comment all over again and to save my comments when I spend extra time on a paper. Reading your midterm again, I do not see how rewriting caused several errors. I noticed just a few punctuation errors and one spelling error in the overall paper, which is not bad considering the limited time you wrote the paper in. I take off a minimum of three points for punctuation on all students' midterms/finals. Mrs. D sent me an email early today about this issue. In regards to being on topic, I could see elements where you were answering the question, but it was not always clear. I noticed a weak thesis, but I thought your opinions were clear, just not on topic. In the third paragraph, you were discussing "time management" and "buffer time," so to me, you didn't answer whether or not college was worth the time invested to earn a college education. For your second paragraph, you ended on a quote, and this left me questioning why this quote was important to your argument. As expressed in your email, you feel that my comments about "ending paragraphs with quotes seem like opinion"; however, this is not the case. When I grade and comment about sources, I follow the I.C.E. Method: Integrate, Cite, and Explain. Information about integrations and citations are clear in the textbook, but explanations generally understood because you should end with your ideas. There is information available on page 174 and the top of page 628. On page 674 in the Little, Brown Handbook, the last sentence is a paraphrase, not direct quotes as seen in your paper. For you second paragraph, I do feel you needed to end with your words to wrap the paragraph up. However, I do agree with your explanation about the quote in the first paragraph. Although you ended on a quote, I agree it more selfexplanatory, and it wrapped up your paragraph. I am adding five points to your grade. After adjusting the midterm grade, your current average for the course is an 85 B. For college, this is a good grade, and I do feel you are working hard and can pull this grade up. To help you and your classmates with the next assignment, I am emailing Mrs. D a handout and PowerPoint I use in my oncampus class. I also informed her that you can email me a rough draft of the next paper, and I will give you feedback before you submit the draft. Let me know if you have any more questions. A On Thu, Dec 5, 2013 at 9:03 PM, A<@yahoo.com> wrote: Hello Ms. A, my name is K and I am currently enrolled in the Dual Enrollment class you offer at xx High School. As you know, we recently took our midterms, and after looking at the grade I received, I have a few comments. To begin with, the program I am required to use in order to type and submit my essay glitched when there were only thirty minutes remaining in the 2 hour time limit given to us to complete the midterm. For an hour and a half, I diligently worked on my essay until My CompLab glitched and my entire essay was gone, leaving me dumbfounded and rushing to restart the essay. That is the reason why my paper had several errors, and I strongly believe you should take into consideration that I, technically, only had thirty minutes to start and complete my midterm, opposed to the two hours provided to the other students, all because the program that you required us to use deleted my readyto-submit paper. After reviewing my essay again and browsing through your comments, I noticed that my second paragraph should have been extended, but due to the lack of time, I was rushing to finish my paper and focused mainly on my concluding paragraphs and that is why the paragraph was lacking in several aspects. Then, when browsing through your other teacher's comments, I noticed that you commented that parts of my paper were not on topic. I need more of an explanation as to why you felt that way because it seems like you did not agree with the personal stance I took on the topic. For my last paper, you commented that you wanted more of my personal opinion and my personal views in my next paper. This paper, I took into consideration all of your previous notes, and I added several personal opinions to this paper just like it was asked of me, but yet, you still disagreed with the way I wrote my paper, even though the information you requested was there. The information I used was modified to fit my view on the topic, and I should not be penalized for my opinion solely because you did not understand it and/or do not agree with it. Also, your comments about me straying off topic and ending paragraphs with quotes seem like opinion to me as well because in the Little, Brown Handbook on page 674, the last paragraph ends with a quote. I checked this Handbook that you provided us with and did not see in any instance where it was an English rule that I could not end my paragraph in a quote, and that is what made your comment seem opinionated to me. I think that the quote I used to end my first paragraph was appropriate and easy to understand to any higher level reader that would view my paper because I believe it was selfexplanatory. I thought this course was all about learning to construct papers correctly and how to write research papers, yet all I am learning how to do is conform to someone else's opinion and disregard my own. I feel as though my style of writing is looked at as lower, not appreciated, and all of my hard work on these papers is being overlooked. I have no idea what you want from me in this course, and I would like some clear instructions on what to do to earn an A in your class. These low B's are disappointing to me. As a student who allows herself nothing lower than an A, I need to know your style of grading, and the type of English writing that I need to do for you. I honestly cannot continue on with making these lower grades because I am not the type of student to just accept whatever is given to her. I will work for the A that I know I can earn. Please help me to understand this English course because right now, I am completely confused as to what you want from me. When I am writing my essays, my English teacher, Mrs. D is telling me how my papers are structured correctly and how great they are, but when I log onto CompLab, I find a disappointing grade waiting for me. I will eagerly await your helpful response. K "That was such a wonderful, successful event, thank you for including me into your program. Everyone was having a blast…it's been a long time since I've been to a sit-down dinner that was that much fun! I only wish Bruce could have been there to witness it all. Again, thank you for letting us spread the word on WOW. From the events the night before, to a table at the reception and a place in your program…we are so grateful to you. You really have created an amazing legacy for the Redskins cheerleaders and contributed to the history of ours. " Kiersten Allen Wife of Redskins General Manager Bruce Allen "We wanted to thank all of the people who were involved in putting together the reunion. We know what a huge effort it took to make this first reunion so great. We had so much fun from the beginning till the end. It was like being with old friends, even though we had all just met. We can't say enough about the location, the atmosphere, the tours, the water taxi, the food, and of course the main event! What a wonderful experience! Can't wait to see everyone again in Atlanta." The 60's Steelerettes "It was such a pleasure to finally meet everyone in person and put a pretty smile and face with your names. I met the majority of you for the first time, but I felt like I already knew you. You all made me feel so welcome, and I am so excited to have more NFL Cheerleaders Alumni sisters and new friends. Your Alumni really set the bar for this event. Your organization did a phenomenal job hosting our first NFL Cheerleaders Reunion!! The buzz is already out there about people being excited about the next one because of the hard work and fantastic job you did for this first reunion. See you in 2014 in Atlanta! " Mickey Crawford, Director Atlanta Falcons Cheerleaders Alum "…it was fun meeting all of you guys too! I can't wait to watch us grow!! What a group! Can't wait to see you again in Atlanta too!! Buffy Crosby New England Professional Cheerleaders Alumni Organization "The reunion was an incredible time and inspiring experience. I look forward to the next one in 2 years:) " Monica Devlin Eagles 2002-2007 "What a pleasure to be in the company of such beautiful ladies both inside and out!! It was a pleasure meeting you all!!" Marion Griffin The Honorable Bob McDonnell, Governor of the great State of Virginia presented us with a Certificate of Appreciation at the reunion gala on Saturday! So proud of our organization and what we have accomplished over the past 28 years! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Terri Lamb, President WRCAA "Had a ball at the first official NFL Alumni Cheerleaders Reunion & Redskins Cheerleaders 50th Anniversary events this past weekend! Had a blast "meeting and greeting," touring FedEx Field, and dancing the night away on Saturday! So good seeing my cheer sisters and meeting other NFL alumni cheerleaders from across the country! Great, great time!! Definitely will catch the 2014 reunion in Atlanta!" Kathy Craft WRC 90s "50 years since the Redskins Cheerleaders were first on the field at RFK Stadium. This reunion also included other NFL Cheerleaders to make it the first NFL Cheerleader Reunion. Fun was had by all!! " Paula Searle WRC 80s "Just wanted to drop you a line and tell you that you and your Alumni team did a great job last night. Thanks for the invite." Brian Low, Owner and Sponsor Sunbrushed "Outstanding party.... The Gaylord was a magnificent venue for a gala extraordinaire. Who wouldn't be happy around 300 beautiful, shining, beaming women? From the red carpet to the hot pink NFL goody bags and the non-stop dancing... it was a night to remember." Lisa Sabatino WRC 80s "It was nice to be with a group of women that all have the same passion.... I loved it!" Lori Ann Marino, Director Buffalo Jills Alumni Cheerleaders "Had a awesome time. Thank you for all your hard work!!" Karen Krajcovic WRC 70s "Great event! -so glad Lori and I could be there." Phil DuBois (Redskins 80s) "It was a true pleasure meeting all of you. We should still keep in contact over the next year, until we meet again." Maggie Trush Hammond Eagles "Her elegance and guidance has created an incredible organization - looking forward to the journey!" Susan Radnor Shannon, Director New England Professional Cheerleaders Alumni Organization "Thank you, thank you, thank you for starting such a worthwhile organization, and thank you for a fantastic 50th reunion. It was the best time!" Sherine Emanuel WRC 70's "WOW … you pulled together one heckuva weekend. I used to manage conventions, so I KNOW, first hand, how much work goes into a series of events such as the one last weekend. From my perspective, everything went so smoothly. "I got to meet Kimberly Vaughn and was happy to be able to do so. It was great fun sitting with the Ladies of the Sixties and Marian and I plan on getting together one day at the Court. The piece by Barbara Harrison is great … a wonderful selection of ladies from all of the decades. Cheri and Gordon: again, thanks for the "changing station." I hope you are resting on your laurels this week! Again, sincere congratulations". Diane Nelson WRC 60's "It was great to meet so many of our Sisters from the other teams. Please count me in to help out for the next one in 2014 Atlanta." Shiona Baum WRC 80's "What an amazing Amazing AMAZING Saturday evening Gala! Thank you to Terri and her team for all of their hard work! It was so interesting to talk to others who shared the same experiences (i.e. the very first time we set foot on the field, my case RFK) and felt the same surreal feeling. No one else could know that feeling except for an NFL cheerleader. Brought goosebumps to just share those experiences with the young and the...not so young. Plus, the dancing was great! There just isn't enough space here to share all of the special experiences from Saturday night. Thank you thank you thank you! It was....AMAZING!!!!! Ruth Ann Hughes WRC 85 "I know you have received many notes of thanks and appreciation, so I am adding mine to that list. Thank you so very much for creating something very special! The momentum and excitement is contagious for the National group and it is quickly spreading its wings. It was quite apparent we all had a great time. I have never been in the company of so many people that were so welcoming and anxious to nurture new friendships. That is indeed what happened - we made many new friends. During our meeting I mentioned an idea of creating an event that would be National and happen at each stadium on the same weekend. I had suggested it be in connection with the Breast Cancer Awareness movement in October. To add to this idea, one of our girls, Laurel, suggested doing a Kick Line - "Kicking Cancer". "We are all so proud of you for doing such a great job with the Anniversary Celebration! Thank you for all of your hard work! You represent the Redskin Cheerleaders so well! Please know how much you are appreciated! Cheri Hoover Heritage worked with the 60's women and did a wonderful job! The program was terrific and we all enjoyed ourselves so much. Many thanks again for your dedication." Marijane Harper WRC 64,65 "Had a great time. It's always wonderful to see everyone and meet new people. Was on the fence about the halftime show, but once you see everyone, you can't wait to be a part of it." Denise Grassel – WRC 80 "Had an awesome time Terri, Thank you for all your hard work!!" Karen Krajcovic WRC 70s "This was absolutely one of the best weekends...Thank you so much!!!!" Lisa Stillman WRC 80s "It was awesome!" Pamela Carlson WRC 90s Had a blast! Thanks for an amazing night! 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posted by Isaac Hobart at 11:39 AM

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