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*Note: If you're seeing this message, you are viewing our emails in a plain-text format. This format, while straightforward, may not showcase the complete email experience of content we've prepared for you. In the HTML version, our emails may be enriched with clearer images to provide context, functional links for additional information, interactive elements for user engagement, and an organized layout designed for ease of reading. Your interaction with our content, in any format, is appreciated. We value your time and the trust you place in our communications. Thank you for being an active member of our community, and we look forward to continued exchanges in the future. If you have missed our previous HTML emails explaining what our company does, here is an explanation: Hi, I’m Barbara Decker, Women’s Empowerment Advocate, Certified Family Recovery Specialist (CFRS) and founder of Live Well and Fully. Women in the second half of their life come to us when they are ready to reclaim their power, purpose and passion in life, and finally make themselves a top priority. Often this comes after years of putting other people’s needs ahead of their own – what I call “Superwoman Syndrome” – struggling with difficult conversations or being dismissed or ignored in their most important relationships. Using our counterintuitive ‘Love Another Way’ framework and proprietary Pathway to Peace Protocol, women are learning to reconnect with their own deepest needs and priorities and make a plan to start experiencing more joy and peace in their lives, without having to fight, plead, beg or yell. You have the right to have your needs and priorities met. You deserve to live the life you desire. Because you matter. And please, find a pocket of joy in your day today… because you deserve it. Barbara To get to know me and my company a bit more, here is a podcast interview that I did with 216 Creator Studio: Lisa's Changing Perceptions... Today, Love another Way...with Barbara Decker Today’s the day I’ve been telling everybody about! I have the beautiful, wonderful Barbara Decker here, and I’m going to let her tell you a bit about her organization so I don’t botch it. I’ve been letting everyone know she’s coming. I met Barbara in one of those kind of weird, guided ways I tend to meet people. When I talked to her, I was incredibly emotional and got caught up in my own stuff. Barbara’s energy is so accepting, calm, and non-judgmental. She has a fabulous story, and through it, she has created something extraordinary to help others. It’s unique and hard to find—a safe space for people who often don’t have anyone in their social circles who understands what they’re going through. Barbara offers that. So, I won’t babble much longer because I want her to have as much time as possible. Barbara, you’re muted if you’d like to unmute. Yes, that was terrific! Welcome, Barbara. Thank you. I’m going to give you the floor, as the listeners won’t know what to do with me being quiet for once. First, let’s start with you introducing yourself, telling people about your organization, and how to reach you. Then we’ll revisit that at the end. Afterward, we’d love to hear your story and what you've learned. So, as Lisa mentioned, my name is Barbara Decker, and I am the mom of a person who has struggled with addiction. My youngest son, Eric, spent eight years deep in .... He is now three and a half years into recovery. That’s a lovely thing for me, but it’s not the core of how I came to do the work I do today. When Eric first started using ..., he was experimenting with marijuana and psychedelics. I didn’t like it, but I wasn’t alarmed. I thought, “This is the kind of thing kids do as they spread their wings and push back on authority.” He was 18 years old, smoking pot, and occasionally taking a psychedelic—it didn’t seem outrageous. But for Eric, it started a downward spiral. He began at 18, and when I realized what was happening, I couldn’t determine if the problem was ... or the emergence of a mental illness. For young men, mental illness often surfaces around that age. For years, my entire focus was: What’s wrong with Eric, and what can I, as his mother, do to fix him? I bounced from place to place, doctor to doctor, therapist to therapist, even attending Al-Anon and Nar-Anon meetings. It felt like the central focus of my life was unraveling: “How did this happen? How could I do everything I was supposed to, yet my life is falling apart?” Eventually, I discovered something profound: I couldn’t change Eric, but I could change myself. And when I changed myself, I gave Eric actual opportunities to choose recovery—if he chose to. There’s a critical caveat: No one can choose recovery except the person battling the disease. Addiction is a disease, and that’s one of the first things we focus on when I work with parents. It’s not a choice; it’s a disease. When I was in the thick of it, I couldn’t find a clear, step-by-step guide. There were people with advice, but nothing structured to help me find peace while navigating this chaotic situation. Over time, people began asking me, “How can you be so peaceful while Eric is homeless and wandering the streets at risk of his health?” That’s when I started putting together the program I now teach. The work I do with parents is action-oriented. It’s not a traditional support group where everyone shares their stories on calls. There’s a little of that, but mostly, it’s a step-by-step process to help each mom move from despair and chaos to peace and acceptance. It’s about setting transformative boundaries, learning what’s within your control, and letting go of guilt, responsibility, and shame. What did I miss, Lisa? Is there anything else you’d like me to cover? Nothing, Barbara. I’m teary because you’ve explained it so beautifully and clearly. Thank you. At what point did you realize this was about you and not about Eric? Who or what helped you make that shift? It’s funny in hindsight. From day one, when I started asking professionals what to do, they were telling me—subtly or directly—that I needed to stop trying to fix Eric and start working on myself. But I wasn’t ready to hear it. Only in hindsight could I see that. A turning point came when a long-time psychologist I trusted suggested I attend a co-dependency group. I didn’t want to go. I thought, “I don’t need a group of strangers. I just need someone to tell me what to do to fix Eric.” But I went because I feared losing access to this trusted psychologist if I didn’t. Initially, I attended the group begrudgingly, just sitting there without engaging. Over time, the therapist running the group gently guided me, and I began to realize the extent of my focus on Eric and how it was consuming me. I slowly shifted from seeing Eric’s problem as the only issue to recognizing how I was contributing to the chaos and neglecting myself. It was a long, gradual process, but ultimately, it was transformative. As part of that group, I began to see the value of “cross-talk.” Unlike Al-Anon meetings, where cross-talk is discouraged, this group encouraged participants to share insights with each other. If someone shared their story, others could respond with their thoughts or experiences. That cross-talk was powerful for me. At first, I was helping others without realizing how much the advice I was giving also applied to me. I remember being in the shower one day, thinking about something I’d said to another group member, and it hit me: “That same thing applies to me. Duh, Barbara!” It was a humbling but pivotal moment of self-reflection. Lisa, you asked about defining co-dependency. It’s not an easy term to define, but here’s how I understand it: Co-dependency is doing things for another person that they could or should be doing for themselves. It’s inserting yourself into someone else’s life in ways that are intrusive or unhealthy. Often, it stems from a deep-seated belief that your worth is tied to how much you do for others. For many of us—especially women—we’ve been conditioned to measure our success as mothers, wives, or friends by how much we sacrifice for others. This can lead to unhealthy patterns where we neglect ourselves entirely. True health comes from shifting away from co-dependency toward interdependence, where we rely on each other in healthy and balanced ways. Ken: I love what you’re saying, Barbara. It’s so true, and it resonates with so many people. If you’re listening today, know that there is help and hope. Visit Barbara’s website at www.livewellandfully.com to learn more about her programs and how you can work with her. Lisa: Barbara, you’ve said so many powerful things, but one point I’d love you to expand on is this: How did you navigate the guilt of choosing to care for yourself while Eric was struggling? I know so many parents feel they’re not allowed to be happy or healthy if their child is suffering. Barbara: That’s such an important question, Lisa. I think the guilt comes from a place of love. As parents, we want to protect our children and fix their problems. But at some point, I realized that giving all of myself to Eric wasn’t helping him or me. In fact, it was making things worse. I was enabling his addiction and losing myself in the process. What helped me was reframing the situation. I began to see that my greatest growth came from facing challenges. Life doesn’t offer us growth opportunities when everything is smooth and easy. It’s adversity that shapes us. When I reframed Eric’s struggles as part of his journey—his opportunity to grow—it helped me let go of the guilt. I also realized that by taking care of myself, I was modeling a healthy life for Eric. If he ever chose recovery, he’d need to see what a balanced, fulfilling life looked like. By prioritizing my own well-being, I could be that example for him. Lisa: That’s so powerful, Barbara. I think a lot of parents need to hear that it’s okay to let go of guilt and focus on their own health. For those who are listening, what are some self-reflective questions they can ask themselves to start this journey? Barbara: That’s a great question. Here are a few questions I encourage parents to reflect on: What are my own priorities outside of my child? Think about what brings you joy, peace, or fulfillment. It might be hobbies, relationships, or even something as simple as reading or taking a walk. What is within my control? Often, our first instinct is to say, “I want my child to get better,” but that’s not something you can control. Focus on what you can do—like setting boundaries or caring for your physical and mental health. What does self-care look like for me? This isn’t about doing what society tells you to do. It’s about identifying what truly makes you feel good and replenished. How can I set boundaries in a way that feels right for me? Boundaries aren’t about punishment—they’re about protecting your own well-being. Reflect on what boundaries you need to feel safe and healthy. Am I willing to seek help and support? Whether it’s therapy, a support group, or a program like mine, reaching out for help can be transformative. Ken: Those are excellent questions, Barbara. For anyone listening, I encourage you to visit Barbara’s website, www.livewellandfully.com, to learn more about her programs. She offers a workshop that explains her VIP program in detail, so be sure to check that out. Lisa: Barbara, we’re down to the last two minutes. Is there anything else you’d like to share before we wrap up? Barbara: I’ll just say this: There is no full assurance that your child will recover. But I can assure you this—if you do this work, your life will improve. You’ll find peace, acceptance, and a renewed sense of purpose. You can’t change your child, but you can change yourself, and that’s where the power lies. Lisa: Thank you, Barbara. You’ve been incredible. I hope you’ll join us again in the future—you have an open invitation. Thank you for the work you do, and thank you for being here today. Ken: Up next is Fellowship of Faith Worship Hour. Thanks for joining us today on Lisa’s Changing Perceptions. Have a great day, everyone! Lisa: Thank you again, Barbara. You’re such a gift to so many people. Before we close, I want to remind everyone that Barbara’s website is www.livewellandfully.com. If you’re a parent or someone dealing with a loved one’s addiction, I encourage you to visit her site. There’s a workshop link right at the top of the page that will give you a better understanding of her program. Ken: Yes, and if you’re hesitant or unsure, you can start by reading the blogs and articles she’s posted. There are resources available to help you get started on your journey. Lisa: Absolutely. Barbara, one final thought before we go—what would you say to someone who is just starting this journey and feeling completely overwhelmed? Barbara: I would say this: You are not alone, and it’s not your fault. The path ahead might seem overwhelming, but you don’t have to take it all at once. Start small. Start with one step, whether it’s reading an article, attending a workshop, or even just sitting quietly with yourself to reflect on your own needs. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Give yourself grace and permission to move forward one step at a time. Lisa: That’s such a beautiful message. Thank you for sharing that, Barbara. And to everyone listening, remember that you deserve peace, joy, and fulfillment in your life. No matter where you are in your journey, there is hope. Ken: Thanks again, Barbara. And thank you to our listeners for tuning in today. Lisa: Have a great week, everyone. And Barbara, you’re welcome back anytime. Thank you for all that you do. Barbara: Thank you so much, Lisa and Ken. It’s been an honor to be here. Take care, everyone! I hope this podcast interview gave you more insights into me and my son’s story.